OH SIMPLE THOUGHTS | HOW TO BE AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO YOUR HUSBAND

I love that Rachel is sharing here today, her blog is such an encouragement and I just love her posts on marriage, so today’s post is just so perfect!

Hello friends! My name is Rachel, and I blog at Oh Simple Thoughts. I write about my new marriage, Jesus and his work in my life, food, and mainly I write what is on my heart. I seek to encourage others through honesty and openness in what I write, and I am so excited to be here sharing with you today! It has been a joy to sponsor Chantel this month and to see her heart for the Lord and his kingdom!

Something that I am always seeking to understand more about is being a wife. I have been excited about this season of marriage my entire life, yet still after one year find myself sometimes feeling clueless on how to be the wife that my husband needs. I talk about this a lot on my blog, and today I just wanted to share some thoughts on what Scripture says about being an encouragement to our husbands.

We all know we are supposed to encourage our husbands, and everyone for that matter. Yet the question that I am always faced with is how do I do this? How can I do this better?
“The the Lord God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18
We as women were created to fill a gap or void in our husbands’ lives. The Lord created us to be helpers for our husband. We are called to support, encourage, affirm, exhort, and minister to our husbands as their unique helper. This is not a calling we should take lightly, and as women we should make it our goal to understand this fully. How can we be a true helper to our husbands?
1. Seek to create an atmosphere of peace, love, and encouragement at home. 
If my husband comes home everyday to my complaints, a mess in the kitchen, and a wife that just wants to crawl in bed, he will feel defeated and not view me as a helper. Now, I am not saying we are called to be superwoman, but we are helpers!! So let’s pursue that role. For me this means working hard during the day to have everything taken care of when my husband arrives. I try hard to have the house tidy, chores completed, and myself ready to receive him back into our home with joy and love. I am not perfect at this, but I desire for our home to be a sanctuary of rest and peace for my husband, so I strive after this goal.
2. Do not become a dripping faucet. 
Scripture says that a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet, and also describes nagging as a rottenness to the bones (Proverbs 19:13, 27:15). Wow, strong words. While I think it should be safe and encouraged to vent and share frustrations with one another as husband and wife, we as women have to constantly be on guard with our words. Are we becoming annoying like a broken record or a dripping faucet? Or are we seeking to just lay down a burden before our husband in hopes that he can speak life into our situation and help us get our attitude set on Christ? This is something I always struggle with. I want to bring life to my husband, not rottenness or annoyance.

3. Ask questions. 
Ask your husband how you can help him more. Ask him how you can make him feel more full when he is at home, how can you lighten his load at work, with your children, in your own personal relationship with him. How can you support him and encourage him more. By simply asking these questions you can open the door to so much honest communication between you and your spouse, and it creates a safe place to share. By asking these questions you are giving your husband the freedom to correct you, you are giving him the freedom to criticize, so be prepared for this.
I am an emotional girl, and I get my feelings hurt easily. Often I have made this mistake of asking these questions without praying and being prepared for hard answers. When I approach my husband this way 9 times out of 10 it ends in me crying and us arguing. So take time to prepare before you approach your husband with these questions.
4. Seek peace, pursue it. Hold your tongue. 
” Let him seek peace, and pursue it.” 2 Peter 3:11
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“A hot-tempered man (or woman) stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Proverbs 15:18
“The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.” Proverbs 15:28

These verses seem so clear and straightforward, yet I have such a hard time with these truths. When I am frustrated I want my husband to know it, and when conflict arises I look at it as a battle to conquer, it is not over until my voice, point, and argument is heard, and I win. I am just being really raw here, I struggle with this. But Scripture is so clear, that only a fool gives a quick answer, only a fool gives full vent to his anger, and only a fool speaks without thinking. So how can we encourage our husbands? Well in times of conflict we can hold our tongues, seek peace and wholeheartedly pursue that peace.

So let’s seek to encourage our husbands and really lay hold of our role as helper. It should be a joy not a burden so let’s pray for this to be so in our lives! Thanks again Chantel for having me today and allowing me to share my thoughts so openly. You are a blessing!
Be sure to go over and visit Rachel over at Oh Simple Thoughts.

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